Jack-in-the-box in Qualitative Research
Hello Curious Learner,
In the last blog post Forest For The Trees: Let's Talk "Reflexivity" we talked about reflexivity in qualitative research with emphasis on rigour and validity. Now it is time to talk about “reflexivity” as a practice to protect the qualitative researcher’s emotional well-being. Think about the famous jack-in-the-box, with “jack” being your feelings and emotions, and qualitative research something that is part of your daily routine, and also part of the handle that will trigger “jack” to come out.
My younger child battled cancer this past year and we are approaching the first anniversary of the first chemotherapy in December 2018. Lately I have been having many flashbacks and memories that make me emotional and momentarily take my breath away. So with my personal “baggage” going on I walked into a setting with a colleague to conduct an interview with a senior who was experiencing a serious pulmonary condition.
The interviews for this project had been fine for me until that day – and by “fine”, I mean emotionally safe. In the middle of the interview the participant reflected on his/her life and said he/she was thankful for the health she/he had because the health problems he/she had were consequences of smoking for more than 60 years. The reflection went on with him/her saying that every time he/she went to the hospital and saw little kids with bald head, she/he thought of how sad and unfair it was for those kids to have cancer when they had not made any poor choices in life so he/she felt grateful for their health and life.
Now, before you read the next paragraph, I want you to think about these two questions:
How do you think I reacted to what the senior said?
How do you think I should or should not have reacted?
Well, I will share what really happened…I got emotional, could not hold my tears and had to walk away for a couple of minutes. The participant apologized because he/she believed in that moment that I was offended…far from that, her/his reflection mirrored my pain and healing. We tend to assess the sensitivity of qualitative research based on the topic being explored. However, qualitative research is relational and ANY topic can be(come) sensitive. This is where reflexivity comes in. As researchers, we need to acknowledge our feelings and protect our emotional well-being. It is vital to take the time to talk and write about what we heard from participants that might have touched us in an expected way or rubbed us in a sore spot.
At the end of the interview, when the recorder was turned off, I told the participant my story and said I appreciated his/her gratitude despite the serious pulmonary condition lingering in the room. When we left the interview setting, my colleague comforted me a bit more because I seriously needed a hug. It was hard not to feel embarrassed about crying and not keeping it together. Yet, I am human, qualitative research is human, and my vulnerability connected two people in an interview setting in an unexpectedly meaningful way.
This is qualitative research, dear reader! If you are in, know there will be moments your “jacks” will show up when you least want or need them. Yet, Quali Q mission is to put humanity back in qualitative research so here we are!
Talk soon,
Maira
Jack-in-the-Box